Glimpses of my Heart

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I am home – when God changes desires December 12, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — oldfashionedatheart @ 7:41 pm

I am in awe of how God brings things to be. How sometimes He gradually changes things in us and other times He just instantly changes us! I have more often experienced the gradual changes but in the last couple months God completely changed a focus of mine without me knowing it was coming!

I have for several years dreamt of living in the country! I live in a subdivision and the thought of even the possibility of living in a subdivision the rest of my life brought me to tears – literally. I loved our home but I wanted/craved/obsessed over land and animals and privacy for years! I wanted goats and chickens and an enormous garden. I spent a lot of time looking at land and country homes on-line. Well, God took that obsession from me here recently almost like the flipping of a light switch! It is obvious He wants me right where I am. I have thought that might be true before and had prayed He’d help me to be content right where I was if it was His plan. But, I guess I didn’t expect such a complete change without warning! LOL. It is a wonderful thing to be at peace where I am – not only in the city I am in but the very house I am in, on the subdivision lot I am in. Thank you Jesus for giving my heart the gift of peace and contentment. Thank you that I am where I want to be not because You moved me but because You changed me! Thank you that I am home!

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Zechariah’s Song August 6, 2011

Filed under: My Journey with Jesus — oldfashionedatheart @ 2:17 pm

How much we put God in a box. How much we feel oppressed by the evil of this world. How much we feel that we are being overtaken. We know not our strength. We have forgotten WHO is in control! We are not weak. We are not defenseless. We are not at the mercy of a wicked small little arrogant angel. We are children of the almighty, living God. Saints bought by the blood of Jesus. Heirs to HIS glorious kingdom. HE reigns. Proclaim it: HE reigns!

Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel,
because he has come and has redeemed his people.
to rescue us from the hand of our enemies, and to enable us to serve Him without fear in holiness and righteousness before Him all our days.
From Zechariah’s Song – Luke 1 verse 68 & 74

 

I will follow Jesus – no turning back. July 6, 2011

Filed under: My Journey with Jesus — oldfashionedatheart @ 1:52 am

In recent weeks my faith has been weak. I have doubted the Lord like I never have in my life. I have questioned His leading & been confused by things along the path during the last 3 years of my life. I have felt bitter, angry, and untrusting. It was terrifying. I begged the LORD not to let me turn my back on HIM. I was having a crisis of faith like I had never experienced nor do I hope to again!

God in HIS infinite mercy pulled me in close this past weekend. He spoke His faithfulness to me through the excerpt from “Who’s your Daddy?” that I shared in a previous post. He brought loving friends around me that showed their love and concern for me and began praying for me. He took my breath away when He lead me to page 189 of “Hinds Feet on High Places” by Hanna Hurnard (typed below). He gave me new fervor to follow Him through Sunday’s message by Pastor Trent and the video shown. He even included the singing of “I have decided to follow Jesus – no turning back, no turning back” in the worship service! Not only is this a special song to me but what had I previously begged Him? That’s right – to not let me turn my back on Him!

I am relieved to be back to the place of believing that HE will be faithful to me. I can trust Him. Don’t get me wrong, the thoughts of doubt still start to rear their ugly little heads but I quickly squelch them before they can say more.

p 189 Hinds Feet in High Places by Hannah Hurnard

“When you continue your journey there may be much mist and cloud. Perhaps it may even seem as though everything you have seen here of the High Places was just a dream, or the work of your own imagination. But you have seen reality and the mist which seems to swallow it up is the illusion.
Believe steadfastly in what you have seen. Even if the way up to the High Places appears to be obscured and you are led to doubt whether you are following the right path, remember the promise, “Thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, ‘This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand and when ye turn to the left.’ Always go forward along the path of obedience as far as you know it until I intervene, even if it seems to be leading you where you fear I could never mean you to go.
Remember, Much Afraid, what you have seen before the mist blotted it out. Never doubt that the High Places are there, towering up above you, and be quite sure that whatever happens I mean to bring you up there exactly as I have promised.”

Only the LORD could ever comprehend how perfectly this passage in the book was written for what I have experienced. Though the “mist and clouds” have settled over the path and I don’t see how HE is keeping His promises to me – HE IS! My precious times with HIM and the words HE spoke to me were not my imagination. I will believe. I am on the right path and He is leading me by the hand. Though I cannot see clearly – HE can.
There also could not have been a more perfect verse to be included with this as this is a very special passage between the Lord & I: Isaiah 30:21 (niv)

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

God is simply amazing. He is so detailed and intimately personal in His relationship with His children.

I will follow You Jesus. Thank you for hearing my cry and restoring my vision.

 

He has not forsaken. He has not mislead. July 2, 2011

Filed under: My Journey with Jesus — oldfashionedatheart @ 12:45 am

Excerpt from “Who’s Your Daddy?” by Priscilla Shirer
(Thanks to my friend Tammie for being an instrument of the Lord and sharing this with me right when I needed it. I needed to be told that HE had not forsaken me, did not mislead me, and that HE will never forget me!)

“I follow Him because He’s the Wisdom of the wise, the Power of the powerful,
the Ancient of days, the Ruler of rulers, the Leader of all leaders.

His goal is a relationship with me.

He’ll never leave you, never forsake you, never mislead you, never forget you, never overlook you, and never cancel your appointment in His appointment book.

When you fall He’ll lift you up. When you fail He’ll forgive you. When you’re weak He’s strong, when you’re lost He’s your way, when you’re afraid He’s your courage, when you stumble He will steady you, when you’re hurt He’s going to heal you. When you’re broken He will mend you. When you’re blind He will lead you. When you’re hungry He will feed you. When you face trials He’s with you.

When I face persecution He shields me. When I face problems He will comfort me. When I face loss He will provide for me. And when we face death He will carry us all home to meet Him.

He is everything, for everybody, everywhere, every time and in every way.

He is your God and that, [Joanna}, is who you belong to.

———————————————————-

Taken from the DVD Bible Study Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed. A Study of David. Video Session 1. By Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur.

 

Still Your Child July 1, 2011

Filed under: My Journey with Jesus — oldfashionedatheart @ 12:21 am

July 1, 2011
My prayer in the night…

Cleanse my heart O Lord.
Rid me of all that is contrary to You…
remove all that defiles.
Restore my faith.
My vision is shrouded.
Open my eyes to truth.
Tune my ears to You.
May I not hear the lies of satan.
Break through my rebellious heart.
Soften me, O Lord.
Remove the pride that causes me to stumble.
Rid me of any bitterness.
May I know that I am not forsaken.
Remind me of Your great love.
May I sense Your hand upon me.
Restore the intimacy that we have shared.
Break down any barriers that I have built up.
I MISS YOU LORD.
I miss our precious times together.
Yet Lord my heart feels wounded and untrusting.
It thinks “Will HE really pull through?”
“Does HE really have a plan?”
“Has HE really been in all of this journey with me?”
Heal my heart O Lord.
I want to bask in Your presence.
Forgive me Lord Jesus.
Extend your grace and mercy.
Do not turn Your back on me in anger –
though I deserve Your wrath.
Reach out to me in tenderness and restore me.
Give me great faith that does not waver.
Give me zeal that I might persevere.
Though circumstances all around me be a mystery,
may I fervently believe You have a perfect plan.
May I know that I am safe in Your loving hand.
Thank you LORD that You are my God and
that I am still Your child.

 

You are my precious lamb April 2, 2011

Filed under: My Journey with Jesus — oldfashionedatheart @ 2:05 pm


You are my Precious Lamb

Copyright © by Joanna White
April 1, 2011

I sat quietly waiting
alongside a dry and dusty path.
Determined not to leave
until I saw HIM pass.

I longed to behold HIM
with mine eyes that day.
Just to get a glimpse of HIS glory
as HE went upon HIS way.

Then came the anticipated moment
when Jesus I could see.
I was enraptured by HIS beauty
as HE walked the path toward me.

His walk was that of great intention
and I wondered where HE might be going.
It surely was very important
for HE showed no sign of slowing.

As HE drew very near
Suddenly my heart began to pound
for HE quickly stopped right in front of me
and sat upon the ground!

His eyes were so endearing
and HE reached HIS hand out to me.
HE said HE had no where else HE was going.
HE came to be with me!

I said “Lord, Who am I that YOU would take delight in?
Who am I that YOU would hold my hand?
Who am I to have such a sacred moment?”
HE said “You are MY precious lamb.”

 

March 31, 2011

Filed under: songs I needed — oldfashionedatheart @ 9:50 pm


After journaling the emotions going through me earlier today I heard the song “Blessings” by Laura Story for the first time. I wept. The lyrics are below. Thank you Lord for speaking to my heart through this song:

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

You can listen here: Blessings